Friday, July 13, 2007

ThOrNs On My WaY

I feel so cold and lonely today,
even after the beautiful rain washed these tears away.
they say,we're there for you,
and when time comes,all I find is me and the blue.
sometimes I say to myself I won't care for anyone,
damn why god made me human.
this darkness gives me relief,
cos' no one can see my grief.
like an ugly thorn on a rose,
I hang on to someone close.
give me pain,hurt me,
Im a self sadist,who loves ME.
take me with you O winds,
break me into pieces and leave no mark to see.
For thorns on my way are endless,
and Im weak enough to Bleed..

19 comments:

Vaibhav said...

hey is this again ur creation
mind blowing
how u get this innovation


n u got 2 comment on my blog as well

give me a chance 2 improve

Anonymous said...

Legendary stuff...Well written!!!

Gaurav Sharma said...

hey if u written this ur self.....then its gr8 wrk.....bravo!! keep it up..im frm www.gaufire.blogspot.com n wondering if we can hav link exchange..

Anonymous said...

Do we exchange links and visit each other frequently ?

The Lass said...

befitting pic... heart warming words!

Gaurav Sharma said...

Hey thankxxx for ur 'thankxx comment' on ma (auxilary)blog..newes no dangers frm ma side im on d ethical hacking side.....so dont worry chillaxx..hehehe...newes....im impressed wid ur writings....keep it up...keep d gud wrk goin...gud wishes for ur blog...

Invincible said...

muz say a nice post!!

Unknown said...

hey yaar..u rite awsum!!! evrytym u suprise me,dis tym with ur creative side..keep it up!!! bt make it a lil less painful..

Anonymous said...

loneliness has some real hard secrets behind it ... some lonely people write ecstatic stories like these, fantastic paintings like the monalisa and da vinci code have come because of loneliness and frustration ...on the other hand people have also committed suicide due to loneliness..ain't it intriguing thought ??

Kevin said...

Good goin'...gr8 stuff!!!

FamiliarQuark said...

Critics viewpoint:
The concept its built on is good, but there is room for improvement on the selection of prose.Keep em short ,could rely more on imagery.
Could take better care of small details..
O winds ->O' Wind.

Unknown said...

its grt yarr you can visit my blog www.learnoneverything.blogspot.com

Unknown said...

oh aditi........
youre toooooooooooooooo gud..............
amazingggggggggggggg poemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm great work........keep writing.......

piyush...

Unknown said...

hey aditi, i really liked some of the poems u put of here... i find lotsa depth in ur writing... came across ur blog on d 'bloggers' community on orkut, u had given me an 8.5 4 my blog btw... thanx 4 dat... i like ; i'll stand by', 'i feel i can fly' and ' a girl' but the ones that really impressed me were 'the darkness' and 'thorns on my way'... u hav outdone urself here, n i can relate to most of your work cos i mostly think on the same lines too... u knw, i used to think that my poems were overly dark and pessimistic bt nw i feel smwat reassured as there r more ppl arnd who think lyk me... nwys, keep writing dose gr8 poems my dear frnd cos u hav just won urself one more fan... cheers...

Apoorva Chandra said...

IMHO perhaps this one's ur best post :)

1st things 1st, your selection of fonts for most of your posts needs to be changed...make it more legible...

and ya, give due importance to the structure of your poetry...

The winds part of this post is very impressive!

seems you have decided to keep your blog melancholic...go ahead but not always do gloomy verses take away your sadness...

in fact they create a world of sadness...i can say that after going for a series of such poetry and monoacting...

usually I don't come across original and creative stuff on the blogosphere but you've indeed created an atmosphere in your blog which is originally original and creatively creative!!
kudos :)

Invincible said...

waitin for ur next post... or u 'av stopped writin after ur masterpiece;)

Apoorva Chandra said...

thnx 4 ur appreciation.
BTW Tapti Blogs is a blog I've created for encouraging writing skills of my juniors, being the hostel's literary secretary...
My blog is http://virgineer.blogspot.com

After the huge dosage of advises, here's one more...try out your hand at articles, that will add to the richness of your writing and your poetry too will improve...
At least that's what I did

Adnan said...

goouud stuff!

Invincible said...

you said u still there..but still not able to find out new post